Welcome to the “Crazy Train.”
The past year has been one that has held a lot of “crazy” for me. I’ve been on a journey that has at times thrilled me and at other times has been petrifying to the point of paralyzing me. About a year ago I had a conversation with a colleague about how trapped I felt. I was finishing my master’s degree in worship studies from Lincoln Christian University on top of working at The Creek as the Creative Arts Director. Just months before, we launched Saturday night services which exhausted me, leaving little time for family Sabbath. Several people, including my warrior-praying momma, prayed for God to expand my borders.
I didn’t ask them to pray for that. And I didn’t know they were praying that until it was too late.
As much as I felt trapped, I also felt comfortable. I'm learning that I like to feel comfortable. But God was calling me to trust him in ways that didn't make me feel very comfortable. He was calling me to trust without borders. I think there's a song about that or something.
After a couple of months, the Holy Spirit and I began a journey where I was not allowed to set goals or think much about the future. For a recovering perfectionist/planner (more to come on this later), that was a HUGE ask. I like to know where we're going. That's part of the comfortable. But God began whispering, “Just go with it.” So, that’s what I did.
A congregational member said, “Could I help you build a website.” I said, “That’s crazy. Why in the world would I need a website?” God said, “Just go with it.”
A dear friend said, “Would you like to write and teach a Bible study for Ignite Women?” I said, “That’s crazy. I don't write and teach Bible studies.” God said, “Just go with it.”
This type of thing went on and on and on. This same friend kept challenging me with her favorite phrase, “Why not?” So one day I told her that she had thrown me onto the “Crazy Train.”*
I realize there are different brands of crazy. There’s the kind of crazy that shouldn’t be present in public or just plain needs help. But there’s another kind of crazy. The kind that believes and trusts in a God who has repeatedly done impossible things over the course of thousands of years.
Creating the universe.
Flooding the earth and then restoring it again.
Parting the Red Sea.
And then cutting off the flow of the Jordan River.
A virgin birth.
Healing the sick.
Casting out demons.
Radically defying the cultural norms.
Resurrecting the dead.
Redeeming broken people.
All impossible things that defy the laws of nature as we see and know them.
Here’s the thing. Hebrews 11:1 says that “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” I am certain God can do the impossible. I have seen him do it. I am certain he moves mountains for his children. I have seen him do it. I have faith both in his ability to work and in his sovereignty. I want my faith to be crazy. And not just in a way where it stays in my mind and thoughts, but moves through my heart to move me to action (James 1:26).
So, I’m a passenger on this “Crazy Train.” God is certainly not my “co-pilot.” He’s the only driver here, folks. I don’t trust myself to drive this thing. It’s moving at speeds so fast I cannot possibly wield the wheel well. Plus, I have no idea where we're going and that could make for an interesting ride with me at the helm.
There are several “Crazy Train” cars in circulation at this point. I belong to a tribe of women who dare to live lives of God's amazing crazy. Those who are on this crazy journey with me, we like to take photos to commemorate our crazy journey sometimes. Here are few of mine:
From top left:
1) My friend Paulette and I at She Speaks, a conference for Speakers and Writers. Yes. That is the Crazy Train photobombing Lysa Terkeurst. 2) I led worship at Sterling Christian Church in Veedersburg with several people from our team at The Creek. We traveled there in a tornado. For real. It was crazy. 3) My dream office where I finished writing Life Rhythms. It's been a dream for quite a while. 4) The first copy of the actual printed book I authored. Crazy. 5) Several Crazy Trains at the Gethsemane Baptist Church's Women's Conference in Danville, KY. 6) Website Launch Cake. Yes. It was an occasion that deserved cake.
Will you join me on this journey? There is plenty of room on this Crazy Train. I’m sure you can link your car up to the already moving train with no problem.
What crazy things is God calling you to do? How is he calling you to step out in faith? Where is he asking you to trust him without borders?